Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Punks And Pumps

Airman, you suck.

To finish Home Improvement week, today's post was supposed to be about my doorbell and the punk-ass punks who broke it, but a funny thing happened. In an effort to eliminate all evidence of their wrongdoing, those punks apparently crept into my house, found the photo of my broken doorbell on my computer, and deleted it.

Which leaves me with the story of how those same punks, or their genetically challenged cousins, snuck up my driveway and let all the air out of one of my tires on the weekend. I'm going to assume it was an April Fool's day prank, and not an attempt to kill me.

But their little prank resulted in my first question: Why is it that NOBODY, not one single company, can make a functioning portable air inflation device? If you've got one that works, it's most likely a 12V unit that plugs into your car lighter.

The problem is my car doesn't have a cigarette lighter, which seems to surprise everyone. As such, I need a rechargeable air inflation device. Suz bought me a great one for Christmas 2004. But 3 months later, it broke. For the next six months we searched high and low for the Crappy Tire receipt, but came up empty-handed. We couldn't return it, and I remained pumpless throughout the 2005 year.

When my Talon tire went flat, I needed a new air pump. I looked for the one I had previously owned, but it isn't manufactured any longer, which is really no surprise. Every single one was probably returned in some sort of non-functioning state.

Currently, Crappy Tire carries approximately 15 different air pumps. Thirteen were 12V lighter-dependant. One was the manual foot-activated kind, leaving only 1 rechargeable kind.

I bought it.

When I got the Active Products Airman "Inflation Station" home I discovered that the recharging station was totally damaged, and the batteries would not charge.

I returned it.

On Crappy Tire's shelves were 2 "Inflation Station" boxes. I took everything out of the 1st one to make sure it too, wasn't damaged. But it was. It was in even worse shape than the one I had bought.

I grabbed the 2nd box and tore into it. Much to my surprise, everything was intact. When I brought it up to the counter I told the cashier that the other unit was severely damaged, and perhaps they should take it off their shelves.

She replied with a shrug and an underwhelming "oh."

Which leads me to my second question: why doesn't anybody give a sh*t? Instead of taking it off their shelves, they would rather sell it, then have an angry customer return it, causing more work for themselves?

What is the world coming to?
And what is your opinion on home improvement stores? Take my poll.
(It will open in a new window)


Blogger redheaded said...

conjunction junction, what's your function? workin' at the railroad with clauses and phrases....oh wait, wrong topic.

functioning inflation devices. cool. have to make up a jingle for that one!

i have had a very hard time finding a doorbell that i like....they all sound so odd.

but to the point of the matter....most attendants don't give a rats a** about the products sold, proper etiquette with customers much less take the initiative to go back to the shelf and take off the damaged goods. they just don't make 'em like they used to!

8:47:00 PM

Blogger stillfindingnemo said...

Those punks flattened my rear passenger tire yesterday morning too. 200$ to Crappy Tire. And the guy talked to me like I was an idiot.

"Uh you know ma'am you want the better tires in front. We'll rotate them to the front then."

"OK you knob. That's what I just told you to do."

7:07:00 PM

Blogger Princess Lo said...

i love your little polls they are so wonderful!! that sucks you dont have a car lighter. i have an air pump that hooks up to my car lighter and i love it

11:10:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Nemo - Hahahahahaha! Canadian Tire blows my ass. Maybe I'll do a poll just about them. However, my American readers may not enjoy the poll so much.

2:15:00 PM

Blogger Ham said...

The reason home improvement employees don't give a rats ass is because they are paid in sawdust and, for the most part (not saying that you are this way, as you don't appear to be the take-out-my-issues-over-my-abusive-childhood-type), have to deal with holier than thou attitudes of consumers and their often finicky, obnoxious, arrogant or downright explosive tantrums. I for one, would hate to work in a home improvement store unless, or course, I had a fetish with home improvement :)

(But those with fetishes have to find a more generous means of attaining the income to keep up with their hobby.)

6:42:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

I concur.

2:26:00 PM


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