The DeLorean Crash Test

"The DeLorean proved to be a very well designed vehicle in terms of allowing a relatively great amount of front end crush without adversely compromising the survival space in the compartment." -NHTSA

Here we go again! Yet another bonehead has found this old DeLorean crash-test video and I can't stop laughing. The authors' editorial on the impact and on the car itself is erroneous to the point of hilarity.

The comments are SO asinine I'm not even going to put the link to the article because this idiot should not be receiving more traffic. But if you're curious, it was posted January 10 on Bangshift.com. If this posting is indicative of the level of intelligence Bangshift.com employs, I urge you to stay far, far away.

Yes, yes, opinions! Everyone is entitled! Unfortunately many a DeLorean author has formed an opinion having never even set eyes on one. More often than not, they regurgitate incorrect specs and compare the DeLorean to modern cars rather than their 1981 counterparts. Always an amateur thing to do.

The video is old. A total geezer. It has been discussed for years. If you haven't seen it don't watch it like Brian did, full of hate. Watch objectively.

There is a lot of competition but the title, "...fold up like a wet cardboard box", is possibly the most foolish remark. I almost feel sorry for Brian, who doesn't understand crumple zones or, more likely, any sort of basic automotive engineering. I truly feel bad for this dunce who sees wet paper where most see the car crumpling as it was designed.

Because this is the higher 40-mph test it's difficult to compare to other early 80s crash-tests. Most are the more common 30 and 35 mph tests. Regardless, the NHTSA report declares the 40-mph test a success.

Here's the simple truth: the DeLorean was designed to crumple in a crash. By engineers. Engineers are generally considered to be pretty smart. Guys who write shit on the internet? Not so much (Look Mom! I'm on the internet. I'm writing in my blog! Look! MOM! LOOK AT ME!).

Insight Battery Cable Conundrum

I don't particularly like how Dealerships cater to our generation's NAME-BRAND ONLY attitude. Maybe we as customers have driven them to that. Maybe not. Regardless, it seems to me that Dealerships treat our cars as disposable sources of constant income via replacement - never worthy of being updated or modified. If it's 4 years old, it's outdated like a computer and time for a trade-in.

I've found my usual Honda Dealership to be very closed minded when it comes to car repairs. If it's not an official Honda part or something alters the original design specs, they will refuse to work on it - even if it's their own fault.

My Dealership could only get the 151R Honda FIT battery for my Insight instead of the normal 151. Because the terminals were reversed, the negative battery cable would not reach. But my Dealership refused to extend the cable the measly 3 inches to reach the battery. They said, "we will not modify the original design of the car." Two weeks later they sent me something in the mail asking me to trade in my Insight!

Since my family works at the dealership I was really surprised at this attitude. I did not want a new car. I just wanted the cable lengthened! But every single mechanic/tech refused to add a longer cable. When pressed, they said I might be able to get an independent garage to do the work, but I was looking at 3 hours of labour.

No. That's not a typo.

The Honda Dealership estimated THREE HOURS of labour to unbolt the 6 inch cable, then bolt a 9 inch cable in its place. Are you laughing? You should be. I can't make this stuff up.

Thankfully my regular mechanic is a tad more logical and intelligent. He's the kind of guy who can tell you the most boring story about some random bolt, and make it so exciting that you can't wait to rush home and tell all your friends about this boring random bolt. And it's nice he can take time away from 7 and 8 second drag cars to do an uninspired job like this. He had a new cable fitted and installed in 15 minutes... including driving the car into the bay.

So, I will let you all know if the car burns to the ground because of the extended ground cable. And if you take a shower one morning and find "the dealer was right!" scrawled across your foggy bathroom mirror, you'll know I was in the car when it happened.

A Place For Assholes

Myspace. Their slogan is "A Place For Friends." I disagree. Yes, maybe friends can hang out there. I'm not saying they're the sphincters.

I signed up for Myspace a few months ago when I found out Brian Melo's former band, Stoked, who I had met and videotaped for an interview, were talking it up with friends there.

Less than a week later I began to dislike the constant badgering from other Myspace users; complete strangers wanting to talk to me. On top of that, most of the personalized Myspace pages didn't work. They were an absolute mess, and impossible to read.

Finally I gave up, abandoning the poorly constructed Myspace and clicked "Cancel Account". A message told me I had to follow the instructions in the email they had just sent in order to complete the cancellation.

That email never came.

I tried to cancel my account 3 more times, but to no avail. Then I started emailing the Myspace crew. My first email went like this:

Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 11:43 AM
Subject: Account - Delete

Hello. For the past 3-4 weeks I've been trying to cancel my account. The email which is supposed to be sent to me which states: Your request to cancel your MySpace account has been sent. You will receive an email shortly with instructions for confirming that you wish to cancel. You must follow the instructions in that email to complete cancellation of your account. Thank you. is NOT being sent to me. PLEASE cancel my account.

I waited a week, and heard nothing back. So again, I sent a detailed, pleasant email which was pleasantly detailed in regards to cancelling my Myspace account. But a week later I'd still heard nothing from the Baboons running the Myspace child-stalking operation.

As I waited for a reply, I picked my nose, tried to cancel my account yet again, ate some pie, and finally sent THIS email, which seemed to have got their attention:

I have cancelled my account FOUR times in the past FOUR weeks and you have failed to send the confirmation email FOUR times. I have emailed you twice to ask you to cancel my account and I've received no replies. Am I getting through to you yet? Now, because of your incompetence, I am leaving on bad terms instead of having neutral feelings about Myspace. I'm tired of these games and simply want my account to be cancelled.

To which they replied:

From: International Mailbox [mailto:internationalmailbox@support.myspace.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2007 11:33 AM
Subject: RE: Account - Delete

Dear MySpace.com User,
Thank you for contacting MySpace.com Customer Support. The issue seems to be resolved now. If you are still experiencing difficulties please reply to this e-mail.

Sincerely,
MySpace.com

So, what was the issue? Incompetent employees? And why does that issue only SEEM to be resolved? Were they told to stand on their chairs to raise their IQs? Or were those employees fired "temporarily?" The email was so vague and useless I almost thought it was One Useless Man replying to me.

Why do idiots turn simple things into such complicated issues? Do they enjoy wasting time, costing their company money and building bad relationships with people? Because that's exactly what they did. Had the simple process worked, they wouldn't have had to pay some shmuck who was too afraid to sign his/her name to that email to sit in a $600 office chair, fix the problem and send emails back to nice people like me.