Newer Isn't Always Better

In with the old, out with the new. Again. Step into my backyard and you might think you just hit 88 mph in the DeLorean. First I ditched the convenience of my gas BBQ for a 1970's throwback, and now it's the lawnmower's turn.

Last summer my 4 year old Lawn-Boy quit. I had the primer replaced and it gave me another 3 solid weeks of sporadic operation before I started borrowing my dad's 25-year-old Toro. Which has never had a tune-up or repair in its life. (Lawn-Boy, you reading?)

Lawn-Boy customer service was unable to answer any of my questions regarding the new Kohler engines, other than to say they, Lawn-Boy, prided themselves on their reliability. Which basically means nothing.

I decided that if I wanted true reliability, I had to go back in time. Back to 1979. To my old 2-stroke, aluminum deck Lawn-Boy. So, for less than half the price of a new, unreliable mower that would quit on me a month after the warranty, I had my old 2-stroke rebuilt.

What a no-brainer.

It's practically maintenance-free without oil or air filters to change. And what a beautifully devised machine, especially with that adorable off-set wheel. Oh how I miss the quality and design of yesteryear. Has anyone else noticed how much design is suffering these days? For example, car shapes are essentially dictated entirely by aerodynamics.

I miss the good ol' days when design was unrestrained and just.... super duper spiffy. Willikers! I'm really starting to think I should've been born in the 50s.

Lawn-Mowing War

You know that horrible noise you heard yesterday? No, it wasn't a prehistoric monster screaming in anger. No, it wasn't metal fatigue followed by the wings tearing off a plane that was diving uncontrollably into the earth's upper mantle. No, it wasn't Steven Page from the Barenaked Ladies attempting to sing well.

That was me, trying to push my lawn-mower.

When I finished mowing my lawn for the 3rd time I carefully followed the instructions of the manual. I'm a by-the-book kind of guy. I enjoy keeping records and making lists and that sort of thing.

So, after a total of 2 hours of mow-time, I did my first scheduled oil change on the new Lawn-Boy.

The 70 pound behemoth is really giving me a workout as I compete with my 87-year-old retired army neighbour for the best-looking lawn.

Did I mention my retired neighbour is a woman? And she's winning?

But I know she's cheating due to her retirement status. Being retired results in many hours of available mowing time, while I'm trying to find ways to sneak out of work early so I can get home and play catch-up.

However, my efforts seem to be in vain as my lawn is growing at an astronomical rate and hers resembles a golf-course green. I don't know how she does it.

I won't lie. I admit that sabotage has crossed my mind. But then my senses get a hold of me and shake me back to reality.

And the reality is, at 87, sadly, she doesn't have many mowing days left.