Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

The Cadbury Secret

Traditional Red & Purple creme eggs.

Cadbury has a secret. The Cadbury Creme Egg secret. And seeing as how this is Easter, what a perfect time to reveal it to everyone who reads my blog. So, yeah, we're talking six people.

Cadbury doesn't want you to know something about their creme eggs. Not all Cadbury Creme Eggs are created equal, and their staff will do anything to keep that knowledge from customers.

Last Easter I came across a giant bin of Yellow and Green foil-wrapped creme eggs at a dollar store. I was very confused. Okay, MORE confused than normal. I decided to write a letter:

To: 'consumer.relations@brandspeoplelove.com'
Subject: Inquiry About Cadbury Creme Egg Foil Wrapped Egg.

I am hoping someone can clear up some confusion about a product which may in fact be some scary Cadbury knock-off filled with all sorts of horrors. In Ontario there are stores selling a "Cadbury Creme Egg" which is not in the traditional red & blue foil. The colours are yellow and green. Does Cadbury wrap eggs in two different foils? Does Cadbury have special relations with Dollar Stores, selling a different colour of egg? Most importantly, is this a genuine Cadbury product? I am afraid to purchase it.

Thank you,

At first it does not appear that Cadbury's customer relations reply was miserable. However, upon discovering the truth, part in thanks to Wikipedia, and part in thanks to what happened afterward, I can confidently say this reply was a massive lie wrapped in a canned letter, oozing with marketing propaganda.

From: consumer.relations@brandspeoplelove.com
Sent: Friday, March 13, 2009 1:00 PM
Subject: Your Inquiry About Cadbury Creme Egg Foil Wrapped Egg. #001153330A

Dear Mr. Martini:

Thank you for contacting us about Cadbury Creme Egg Foil Wrapped Egg. Your comments and inquiries are appreciated because they provide valuable feedback about our brands.

The wrapper on our Cadbury Creme Egg has not been changed. It is still a red and blue foil wrapper. The other product that you mentioned is not one of our products.

Cadbury has been making great brands that people love for more than 200 years. We are proud of our family of confectionery products and are committed to providing a wide range of choices for all individuals.

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We hope that you will continue to purchase and enjoy our products.

Consumer Relations

New style (windowless) Creme Egg box.According to Wikipedia, this customer service representative just flat-out lied to me. Apparently Hershey is licenced to make and distribute the delectable Creme Eggs, and often wraps them in green and yellow foil. See the entry here.

I decided to write another letter to Cadbury, but I did not divulge what I knew. I wanted to see if they would correct their error, or call my bluff. Read my letter below, and then try to guess Cadbury's response.

Sent: Friday, March 13, 2009 1:06 PM
To: 'consumer.relations@brandspeoplelove.com'
Subject: RE: Your Inquiry About Cadbury Creme Egg Foil Wrapped Egg. #001153330A

Thank you for the information. However, it strikes me odd that you are not interested in the details about this Cadbury knock-off which is using your company name on their product, quite possibly affecting your reputation. If you are this nonchalant about other companies illegally using your company image and name, how can we trust Cadbury? How many other products out there are illegitimate Cadbury rip-offs?

Cadbury's response was deplorable. Their customer service is so terrible, so irresponsible, that they refused to reply to my inquiry. They wrote nothing back to me. I bet you didn't see that coming.

So, my question is, why would they ignore me? Were they embarrassed to admit they lied or made a mistake? It certainly can't be the fact that they're hiding the Hershey Creme Egg secret - it's on Wikipedia for all the world to see. So what other reason might they have?

Perhaps another letter is in order.

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Blogger Michael Manning said...

Their decision to ignore you was very rude and irresponsible. I am now glad candy is not in my diet. I wouldn't waste any more time on them, Martini. You're a good guy! :)

11:33:00 PM

Blogger Grant said...

You should mail them a bag of shart, or crash the creme egg car into their buildings. Or for a truly measured response, you should set fire to their corporate offices, collect on the insurance, and donate that in their name to a terrorist organization that provides free abortions for Christian hetero fetuses.

9:17:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Wow, two very good suggestions from two very different guys! Thanks. I'll keep you up-to-date on the situation. I hope to have a response from them next week.

11:47:00 AM

Blogger Michael Manning said...

Thanks for dropping by, Martini! How about some photos of the DMC? :)

12:30:00 AM

Blogger The T-Dude said...

Ralph Nader has nothing on you!

2:19:00 PM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

okay, Martini, what's new in your world?

10:41:00 PM

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

Press on - make them give you an honest answer! Down with corporate lies and thievery! ;)

1:55:00 PM


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