Gullwing Grief - Hairdryer to the Rescue

People are undeniably seduced by gullwing doors, whether they're on a lowly DeLorean or the supreme Mercedes SLS.

DeLorean doors, powered by a Grumman-aerospace torsion bar plus a strut, want to rise upward by nature. The only thing holding them down are the latches. And my latches are worn out. In the cold they don't catch and the doors launch upward.

Since I can't drive the car in the cold specifically because of this problem, I decided to have DMC Midwest replace my latches. I made all the arrangements, ordered parts, booked hotels and even plane flights.

But the ONE day I have to drive to Crystal Lake, Illinois is a terribly cold day sandwiched between all the nice the weather. And the main reason I'm going, ironically, is so the Swingles can replace my latches that don't work in the cold! This means that on my nine hour drive I would not be able stop. Not to eat, pee or even get gas.

Now here's the absurd part. In addition to these woes, my driver's window is broken and stuck in the up position. This means I have to open my door every time I pay a toll or talk to the border guards. But once my door is open, my goose is cooked.

Solution: A one thousand eight hundred and seventy-five watt hairdryer. To make this work I bought a super-badass 2000 watt inverter for $199. I attached appropriate cables, clamped it to my battery, and plugged in the purple hairdryer.

As ridiculous as this sounds, it works. Now I'm thinking of bringing my 1000 watt microwave too. After all, what's a road trip without burritos!?

Crazy For Roomba

Am I crazy? Those of you who already know me are presently screaming "YES!" but I ask again, am I crazy? Give me an answer based on my thoughts and actions regarding this LG gps unit.

Here's the nutshell: Today I won an LG LN730 Portable Navigator, and I don't want it.

Everybody wants a GPS right? So I'm slightly crazy already. Now here's the way tons crazier part: I want the prize my workplace is awarding next month, an iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner. Crazy, right? A guy wanting a vacuum over a GPS?

The problem with this prize is that I already have a totally dope GPS unit, which I also got for free nearly 2 years ago. Sure, the LG is pretty rad too, what with MP3 & WMA playback as well as a sweet Photo Viewer with the SD memory card slot.

So am I crazy? Wanting to pass up a GPS with those super-cool bonus features and likely having a faster processor than my Sony?

I am crazy: crazy brilliant! I can trade the GPS for the Roomba, because who wants a vacuum? Nobody! And who wants a GPS? Like, everybody! Even agoraphobics would find this particular GPS useful and fun.

With the Photo Viewer they can show their friends all the crazy things Zippur the cat licked from their bellybutton last weekend. And they can download all their favourite songs to it and rock out to Supertramp when they're layin' a coily. Rad!

Now, I don't really need all that. When it comes to photos and music, I'm older than Jesus. Photo albums and CDs are abundant at my house. But if my house were Roombafied, I'd never have to clean the floors. I could sit on the busted Ikea couch watching Robotech reruns all day, drinking Vodka tonics and dropping Cheeze-its and Melba Toast all over the floor while my lil Robovac hovers at my feet in suck mode.

Yes! It would be like having a robomaid, or a dog, or a 2-year-old son. I'd throw it food and it would just eat and wander aimlessly, occasionally bumping into things like the TV. Ah, I'm already in love with my imaginary Roomba. So, am I crazy or what?

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Update: GPS traded!