MIA: Auchentoshan Three Wood

Stay with me here. If you live in Ontario, frequent the LCBO, drink scotch and enjoy Auchentoshan, you just might have noticed that the LCBO is no longer stocking the Three Wood.

Being one of my all-time favourite scotches, this was of concern to me. Big concern. Okay, here's the truth: I cried myself to sleep after punching my pillow into oblivion (an hours-long task). But really, very much really, I'm thankful Dan brought this to my attention.

Want to know what's going on? I certainly did. So in my despair I emailed the folks at the LCBO to ask why they were being so cruel:

Customer By Web Form (Mr. Martini) 04/26/2013 07:11 PM
I have noticed you are no longer carrying Auchentoshan Three Wood. I'm quite upset, in an adult sort of way, and no I'm not even kidding. Can you tell me the reason(s) you've stopped, and if you'll stock it again in the future? Thank you v. much.

I have since learned that "v. much" is a rather British thing to do. Unaware, that is how I sent my message to the non-British LCBO, my actual state of being much more bleak than my letter. When the response came my heart utterly sank when I read, "currently unavailable," but SPOILER ALERT! It gets better.

Response Via Email (Dorothy) 04/30/2013 08:55 AM
Hello Mr. Martini,

Thank you for contacting helloLCBO about Auchentoshan Three Wood. This product was last released through our Vintages program in November 2011. The Three Wood is currently unavailable in our stores as it is being moved into our Whisky Shop program. We are planning to repurchase this product and to make it available in stores starting mid-October 2013. You may wish to contact us again in early fall for further updates.

Best Regards,
Dorothy
helloLCBO

The reply was a REAL letter! I was not addressed as "Dear Customer." And it did not insult me with typical form letter disdainfulness! This was all REAL! Dorothy, wherever you are, you're the best. Thank you for a satisfying reply. I am looking forward to October even more than usual now.

Auchentoshan 18 year Single Malt

Ingrained in the human spirit is the desire to take home a souvenir from their travels. Or maybe it was successful marketing born 100 years ago, or perhaps the social acceptance of thievery. Who knows. But I knew that when I returned from Paris I wanted to bring home something special. Something I couldn't buy at home. One of those things was a bottle of Auchentoshan 18 year old scotch.

I bought this European standard size 700 ml bottle at La Maison du Whisky for the equivalent of $108 Cdn.

When I finally got around to opening it, I tried not to get excited. This was my first 18 year old scotch. So what happened? I was a little disappointed.

I sniffed for a VERY long time, unable to discern anything in particular. After a while my nose stopped working. I took a break, and when I went back to the glass I continued to have this problem. It was too tight. I couldn't detect anything. So I let it sit, open, for a day.

Back again there was a noticeable difference (and with half the bottle gone, I noticed an even bigger difference). A hint of vanilla. Sweet. Fruity. But very faint. Nothing very strong, all coming together beautifully.

The taste is immediately sweet and salty. I find the flavours extremely similar to the Auchentoshan 12 year old, only each flavour is a bit more vivid and waaaay more silky. Grass, nutty honey, ginger, the tiniest bit of smoke.

The finish is warm barley, dry and fades rather quickly. Way too quickly. Just makes you want to have another sip. And hey, that sounds like a great idea.

Rotten things have been said about Auchentoshan 18 y.o., things I thought were undeserving. While absolutely tantalizing, the 18 y.o. is extremely similar to the 12 year. There's just not enough of a distinctness to justify the price difference. Perhaps that is one of the reasons the LCBO does not carry it. But be forewarned, LCBO! Drop the Three Wood and I'll be throwing a king-sized, whisky-fuelled hissy fit.

A perfect, yet overpriced automatic DeLorean, for sale by an owner who's confused fantasy with reality. (Sound familiar Mr. Northern Ontario who wanted $45,000 back in 2003?) Look around and you'll find one just as nice for half the price.

LMDW: $108 Cdn equivalent
700 mL
43% (86 proof)

La Maison du Whisky, Paris

The LCBO's Whisky Shop is a valiant effort to duplicate what France's La Maison du Whisky perfected decades earlier. The Paris shop opened in 1956 and sells extremely limited, special and rare bottlings of whisky along with many regulars.

After an hour or so of walking in the rain, I found LMDW tucked down a little street north of the Champs d'Elysees, just west of La Madeleine. 20 Rue d'Anjou to be exact. It's a beautiful corner store filled with beautiful rare bottles, with a beautiful custom "MW" push to open the door.

When I entered I spun around, a la Julie Andrews, to take in the views of all that was on offer. I guess my excitement was apparent. Despite being dressed in my laziest pair of jeans and grungy old running shoes the amazing staff seemed genuinely happy I was there. Like I was an old friend.

I realize how cliche that sounds but it's difficult to explain the feeling when I was allowed into their private collection room to take photos. It's a small room with bottles to the ceiling, so I used my wide angle lens to capture a few that meant something to me. I can only assume they were for sale, but I didn't ask.

Although a small store by North American standards, La Maison du Whisky is full of incredible bottles. How incredible? What do they have? How about a Glenfarclas Family Cask 1965 just shy of 500 Euros? Or the 1957 Auchentoshan 50 year old? Or Glenmorangie Pride?

If you want it, La Maison du Whisky (probably) has it. Unless you happen to be looking for the 1975 Auchentoshan 35 year old.

Sorry. I bought the very last one - the display bottle.

Auchentoshan Three Wood Single Malt Scotch

Whisky is expensive. And the longer it sits in barrels or casks, the more expensive it gets. You're not really paying for the sweet liquid inside, but rather time. As they say, time is money. Think of it as renting space to store something until you're ready to get it. You're also paying for the expertise of the Master Distiller as he nurtures it over those years.

In Canada whiskies get even MORE expensive when the "free healthcare" taxes are included. So, when one has fallen in love with it like I have, one has to make very wise purchasing decisions. No one wants to get stuck with a $100 bottle they don't like. Thankfully there are people like Ryan at Value Whisky Reviews to help. And there's more help at the LCBO. Every 30 days they put their juice on sale, but the savings are typically not much more than $1.50 a bottle. If you're lucky, you'll save $5, and if you've got horseshoes up your ass, it might be $10.

I loved my Auchentoshan 12 y.o. so much that I was willing to take a chance and buy the Auchentoshan Three Wood at full price. It is the only other Auchentoshan available in Ontario and I was dying to try another triple distilled scotch. Did the LCBO's devious little plan work? You bet. Full price: $77.

Three Wood is special in that it has been matured in three different casks. First it spends an entire decade in ex-bourbon casks, then a year in ex-Oloroso sherry casks and finally, finished for 1 year in ex-Pedro Ximenez sherry casks.

The sherry gives the Three Wood a deep bronze colour, and more. The nose made my mind race, searching through file after file of scent memories, trying to find a match. Wood, butterscotch and grapes, and maybe more. It seems similar to the 12 year old only amped up and fruitier.

The taste is very much influenced by the sherry casks. It's an amazingly rich mix of dark fruit and sweetness. Mulberries, grapes, maybe a hint of tobacco and toffee, followed by the same tiny punch of smoke as the 12 year. No, a bit more smoke. Just perfect.

The finish is dry thanks to the sherry casks, a bit grassy, fruity and long. It's not very strong, just perfect. Again, it's similar to the 12 year, only drier and smokier. Even after brushing my teeth I was able to taste it! The finish really is fantastic.

After my first drink I was in love. To me, this is worth a bit of a premium over the regular 12 year. It's like paying extra for a DeLorean... because it has the gas flap hood! Huzzah!

LCBO: $77
750ml
43% (86 proof)

www.auchentoshan.com

Auchentoshan 12 year Single Malt Scotch

In his prime, John DeLorean was featured in Cutty Sark scotch ads just before his company began the downward spiral that ended in bankruptcy. While his DMC-12 is not new to me, whisky is. I don't know exactly how to properly taste it, and I definitely don't know how to review it. It feels a bit fancy. And sometimes it's nice to feel fancy. Some guys like to wear women's panties, some smoke Cuban cigars, and others enjoy a dram.

A few years ago a neighbour gave me a bottle of Glenfiddich 12 year for Christmas. It was the most vile thing I'd ever tasted and I decided right then that I didn't like whisky. Over the next few years I had the occasional bourbon... and liked it. In 2010 I toured Kentucky's Buffalo Trace distillery with my car club and had a tasting there. "Mmmm!" I thought, which led to continued bourbon drinking at Halloween, Christmas, and weekend parties.

Like I said, this is new to me. My drink of choice was always gin. But whisky is a whole other animal, and I've discovered how much I like both scotch and bourbon. Should those words be capitalized? I don't even know.

The other day I went to my local LCBO. Once a month or so they put various items on sale. I scanned the aisles and decided on a bottle of Auchentoshan (Oken-toshen) 12 year single malt scotch. Sale price: $48.

It is presented in a nice silver box, which I suppose also protects it from the sun, the only triple-distilled scotch in the world. It's a medium amber colour, and without knowing the proper way to describe it or reading other people's reviews, that's the best I can do.

When I opened the bottle I was shocked at the varying and subtle smells. Old wood, green apple, orange peels, a slight toffee scent. Amazing! I went back again. There's more there, but I don't have the experience to discern the nuances.

The taste was laid-back and soft. It was sweet on the tip of my tongue. Wood, caramel, charcoal, green apple, and finally a tiny punch of smoke. There was a very slight bite as I swallowed, then slowly that apple returned. This time with a bit of spiciness. The finish was mellow and long with a delicious smokey flavour too subtle for me to distinguish.

This bottle makes me excited. It is going to be fun playing "guess the flavours" over the next few months as I learn.

LCBO sale: $48
750ml
40% (80 proof)

www.auchentoshan.com
www.buffalotrace.com