Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Halloween Candy Oscars 2011

The best Halloween candy for 2011, Frankford's always wins.

Halloween is amazing. It's the only time of year when parents turn the other cheek and allow their kids to take candy from strangers. And when you're taking a chance like that, make sure you get the BEST candy. So just what is the best Halloween candy for 2011?

Last year the Halloween Candy Oscars suffered because the Halloween candy niche has been severely neglected by confectionery companies. Halloween seems to cycle, and lately it has not been popular. The proof is in the pudding... er... candy, as it were.

This year I struggled to come up with solid Halloween-themed competitors in any category. I found one chocolate. I found one gummy. I found zero lollies. And I only found Spooky Eyes and Pumpkin Faces gumballs in bulk. It was atrocious.

Candy companies are simply not interested in putting a quality Halloween candy on the market. For the big guys, it's cheaper to manufacture tiny useless versions of their full sized candy or chocolate. For the niche market players, it's simply cheaper not to compete at all. And when that happens, all teh childrenz lose out. Won't somebody think of teh childrenz?!

However, Frankford has once again come forth with an awesome assortment of bloodcurdling body parts. Every year Frankford impresses, but there have been BIG changes in 2011 and not all are for the better. The biggest difference you will notice is the packaging. Gone is the beautifully designed, creeptacular coffin container. I was only able to find a bag of body parts, which states there are 7 different gruesome candies.

Gruesome Halloween teeth are horribly delicious!On the upside, there is a new, fantastically delicious body part. Teeth! Okay, some of you astute readers or candy connoisseurs will remember that Frankford used to have gummy fangs. Well, the gummy fangs have gone to the candy graveyard. They've been updated with hard candy teeth. Teeth so bone-crunchingly good they give me shivers. Trust me when I tell you they crunch pretty damn accurately. (I've chewed a real human tooth before, yeah.)

But to every upside there's a downside. Just like the dreadfully demonic downsizing episode of 2007, it looks as though Frankford shrunk their gummies again. At this point, they can't really get much smaller without becoming stupid-looking, so I'm not worried this trend will continue. In fact, I predict in the near future, a bloody heart will be their next addition.

The gory popped-out eyes, bleeding foot, ripped-off nose, bloody finger, oozing ear and scooped-out brain remain as delicious as ever. However, I did find a lot less of them in the bag, which is supposed to contain 45 individually wrapped body parts. As usual, I had to count to make sure.
The bag contents breaks down like this:
26 teeth (each containing 5 crunchy teeth)
10 brains
3 ears
3 fingers
3 eyeballs
2 feet
2 noses

If you added that up, you'll notice what I noticed too: A four-body-part BONUS! A second bag of body parts yielded almost identical results.

This year all those rotten candy companies who bailed on teh childrenz sure made my job easier. 2011's Halloween Candy Oscar for best Halloween candy goes to Frankford, hands down, for their gruesome Body Parts.

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009
Halloween Candy Oscars 2008

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5 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

Wow! Packed with all the important facts! It's good to know about these body parts, just wished we had that here!

Only 1 trick or treater, this year :o(

What did you dress up as?

1:11:00 AM

 
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Wow! This exceeds last years Halloween notables, which I still remember!!

4:23:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Ms. Creek - I was Zombie Michael Jackson, from Thriller. Great fun! And we had our lowest turnout ever, 27 kids.

3:57:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Michael - I'm hoping things (by which I mean candy options) improve for 2012!

3:58:00 PM

 
Blogger The T-Dude said...

Love that candy...awesome.

4:35:00 PM

 

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