Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Mario's Not Interested in my Lawn Mushrooms

Stupid, ultra-boring white mushroom in my backyard, does not make me grow big.When a bright red one caught my attention about 2 weeks ago, I suddenly and inexplicably became interested in mushrooms. Mushrooms are generally kind of terrible. I have never liked them. I've also never understood people's fascination with them, despite growing up (no pun intended) on Super Mario Bros.

Within a few days of spotting the red 'shroom I discovered a fairly medium-sized cluster of glossy brown mushrooms growing beneath my crabapple tree. Unfortunately, they were trampled by my nephews before I thought to take a photo.

However, that led to mushroom research which, upon discovering how delicate some of them are, led to obsessive early morning mushroom hunts in my backyard. How delicate are mushrooms? By noon the shrivelled 'shroom corpses are collapsing all over themselves. By the end of the day there's often no evidence left at all.

I know nothing about mushrooms. I don't know why they grow straight out of grass, how long they take to grow or which ones are edible. But I do know that they are part of a good ecosystem. When you have mushrooms, you have a good party. I mean a healthy lawn.

Tiny shrooms, sun was just coming up.In the past I'd noticed a couple here and there, but never this many. Every morning I find a new crop of them. Most are the ubiquitous white things that if you said to a child, "draw me a mushroom" they would replicate perfectly and boringly. Others are mega-tiny, with flat brown tops.

Never before had I been curious about mushrooms, and I admit this interest is probably going to be fleeting. Especially if all I can find are these boring white coneheads! I want my poisonous spotty mushrooms!

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Royal Golden Raspberries

Bumpy golden raspberries are a royal treat for King Martini!

Being outside is awesome! Don't get me wrong. Being inside is awesome too. Awesome with a capital W.... for wicked awesome! Seriously, who can complain about shelter? Not me. But there really are great things about the outside.

Like raspberries.

And not just any raspberries either. Golden Raspberries. And not just any Golden Raspberries either. Homemade ones! That's right. The last time I wrote about our raspberry bush, it was a youngun, a sapling, a juvenile little snot-nosed shit disturber.

Back then, I didn't really like the home-grown golden raspberries it produced. I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but there was something odd about them. Oh, how things have changed.

This year our golden raspberry crop was huge, mature and awesome! The sweetness of the berries oozed with deliciousness. They were amazing. I didn't really want to try them at first, and was happy enough eating the tasty red raspberries for a while. But I just couldn't let the golden ones go to waste, caved in and ate them.

Every day I ate a handful. A super tasty number one awesome handful. I was almost alarmed at how mouthwatering they were. I'm talking fit for a king. I was stunned. I had no idea I was a king. But the handfuls of gold mother nature handed me every day was a major clue.

The second and final clue came after I ate 50 of the royal raspberries, then sat on my throne for an hour. Long live the king!

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