Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Bjork Swan Dress Costume

Bjork swan dress costume. Not for the faint of heart.
Halloween is arguably the best time of the year. There are so many reasons for its awesomeness that it cannot be summed up in a simple blog. Possibly a really complex blog posting would explain the awesomeness sufficiently, but I have very little time for that. During the month of October, I don't even have time to eat. I'm running on the last morsels of nutrients from my thanksgiving dinner.

This year I had two costumes; a work costume and one for my party. I began my main party costume in August. I've loved Bjork for as long as I can remember. My paraphernalia is extensive. It was time to complete it with some clothing.

It was time to cross-dress.

It was an obvious choice to go with the 2001 Academy Awards era Bjork. Yep, a home-made Bjork Swan Dress Halloween costume. And here's how I did it.

I picked up some sheer curtains ($15) at a thrift store, along with an $8 white skirt. I cut the sheers into strips, and sewed them onto the skirt in layers. I bought 3 white feather boas at Party Packagers for approximately $21. These were glued between the layers.

I bought a small bit of sexy satiny polyester ($6) for the swan's neck, and sewed that to the top of the dress. I stuffed it with about $2 worth of pillow stuffing and a piece of wire. I bent the wire into a U shape, that would go around my puny neck.

Making a sweet Bjork swan dress beak.
I bought $1.50 worth of orange and $1.50 worth of black Fun Foam at Michael's craft store. Using stupid, dull scissors (I need new scissors) I formed the orange piece into a funnel-like beakish sort of shape. It worked!

swan beak stuff.
The black nostrilly part of the swan was more difficult. And my crappy scissors didn't help. I cut a bizarre symmetrical shape out of the black Fun Foam to make this part. It doesn't look like it works, but it does!

swan beak bits.
I slid the wacky black shape into the orange beak and used my hot glue gun to hold them together. Note to people using hot glue guns - don't use the glue sparingly. Go nuts! The fun foam wanted to revert back into its natural flat shape, and tore. I had to glue this beak twice.

swan beak. Good for soup.
Finally, I used the hot glue gun to attach the completed beak to the head of the swan. It's a major visible component of the dress, so it had to look right. Once complete, I was very pleased with how it turned out.

The last items I needed were shoes and a wig. I bought the shoes at another thrift store for $7. They're not an exact match, but they're close enough that literally 99% of people who see me would never know. (I later found out that 50% of people who saw me didn't even know who I was! Eeep!)

I picked up a surprisingly accurate wig at Spirit Halloween for $16 sometime in mid-September. Total cost, about $78. It's worth every penny knowing you'll never find yourself face to face with another Swan Dress Bjork costume, fighting for prizes at some dope-ass party.

Fully assembled, I'd say I make a pretty sweet Bjork. Most people wouldn't. Most people would run away screaming. Which is exactly what Halloween is all about!

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Blogger Grant said...

Next year you can continue the trend with a Lady Gaga meat dress. That way you can cross dress and snack at the same time.

9:07:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

You read my mind dude.

12:25:00 PM

Blogger Becky said...

That is a hilarious costume! I am sooo jealous!

11:05:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Becky.... I'm "denied!"

12:31:00 PM

Blogger The T-Dude said...

I saw a guy trying to sell a DMC on Pawn Stars and thought of you.

4:39:00 PM

Blogger Rob Hamilton said...

RE: http://dmcme.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html

Could you tell me more about the May-June 1939 Edward Glass architectural drawings which you discuss in your post from December 2006?

I am trying to learn more about Edward Glass, and this is one more piece in the puzzle.



Robert D. Hamilton, MLIS
196 West 18th Street
Hamilton, ON L9C 4G8

W 416-364-8700 ext.355
H 905-389-5104

10:18:00 AM

Blogger reener said...

You tasted Stephen Harper's pants?

*shaking head*

I don't know about you guys......

I bet my life is more pathetic than your life.....

Kudos on the new Weber and for keeping it in the USA. I swear we're going to be eating with chop sticks in the next decade or so if the keepers of the little gold oval stickers are still importing their crap!

Thanks for stopping over at my blog and commenting on the garagesale etiquette. Your blog only allows Blogger account comments. So if you click my name you'll be over at my Blogger blog and not my Wordpress blog. I have blogs all over the place.

I'll be back. Love your bantering.

7:41:00 AM

Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

where's that dang "LIKE" button when you need it?

11:13:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

reener - yeah, sorry about the comment thing. I was getting a lot of hateful comments, plus boatloads of spam so I restricted it.

ms. creek - you like? Now I've gotta come up with something great for THIS year.

2:52:00 PM


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