Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Michael Moore's Sicko


Tonight, utilizing the free tickets I procured in a fully legal manner, I went to a sneak preview of Moore’s new movie, Sicko. The 'documentary' regarding primarily the U.S. healthcare system, is standard Michael Moore fare, but with a twist… it's a little happier.

Instead of gasping in horror and becoming enraged beyond anything the puny Bruce Banner was capable of, I found myself smiling and laughing more, along with the rest of the packed theatre.

Moore tends to show the most extremes in any particular film in order to get the biggest reaction from his audiences. I guess he wants you to storm out of the theatre clutching a freshly sharpened pitchfork in one hand and freshly combusted torch in the other, march up to (usually) the White house and demand something.

Demanding stuff is pretty great, as long as you've got the facts. Speaking of facts, I loved his gross misrepresentation of Canada's healthcare system. He implies, through a few interviews, that any Canadian hospital's Emerg will have you seen by a doctor in 20 minutes or less.

Come to my city and you will find yourself waiting for 8 to 10 hours… on a GOOD day.

In fact, Canada's system is so awesomely slow that I've found myself going to the U.S., and paying, for my healthcare. But our system is pretty awesome in the monetary area. There's no denying that. Well, there IS, but you'd be considered a lunatic, stuffed into the trunk of a Yaris, and pushed into Lake Ontario.

But seriously, Free is always good, right? And what's better than free operations to have your stomach stapled or your severed arm reattached? (After all, we are not all like Astar)

The only thing I can think of is Free movie tickets. Yay! Two Martini-thumbs up for free tickets, and 1.9 Martini-thumbs up for Sicko.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Point of View

Eager to destroy the vile grass that has invaded his homeworld, Lawnicus Mowerius prepares for battle.

Now that I'm doing less work at work, and feeling quite useless, I am starting to have a different point of view on things, which hardworking CEOs might find to be akin to laziness.

I am the farthest thing from a lazy person. Ask the stairs I use. Ask the weeds I pull. Ask the dust particles that have snuck their way inside the tiniest crack on my model of Deep Space Nine... Nevermind that last one.

I can't sit still. If Suz and I are relaxing on the patio with tasty drinks, within minutes I've pulled the lawnmower out. And if she pointed out that the lawn didn't need cutting, I'd pull out the old Turtle Wax and start doing a 'Karate Kid' on the mower.

The lawnmower wants to cut the lawn. It's its reason for being. If it's sitting idle, its design and engineering are useless and pointless.

I want to work, but I'm on doctor's orders to steer clear of keyboards until my surgical consult in August. But with the combination of a heavy dose of CTS and searing burning in my feet, I am being forced to take a break.

And I hate it. I don't want people to think I'm lazy, but at the same time, I've decided that I don't care if they do. There IS a difference between relaxing and being lazy. And I will never fall into the category of the latter.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mr. Miyagi Cursed Me

I wonder how many cats were served on this platter.

Blogs are coming at a slower pace these days. And they're about to get slower. It's true that Suz and I are both working longer days, and we're spending more of our spare time doing fun stuff - like shopping for neat-o Chinese antiques like this painted wooden platter which was stolen from Mr. Miyagi's family 6 generations ago. But the main reason blogs are on a decline is that my doctor has ordered me off the keyboard due to severe carpal tunnel.

As I await my surgical consult, I am still finding a few happy things in life. On the weekend Suz and I traversed miles of heat-stroked asphalt to pay Kuda Furniture another visit.

Although it was still nifty, our first time was far more impressive. There were more antiques available, and when we couldn't find exactly what we wanted, they gave us a tour of their freshly filled warehouse where we found our Chinese Buddha cabinet.

Wow.... stuff I can't read!On this particular visit, with a 25%-off invitation clutched in my sweaty hand, we excitedly toured the newer, smaller, better-located, less warty store. We were nearly out the door when one piece caught our collective eye.

The antique platter had a really great scene painted on it, although a key area in the centre was damaged. On the reverse side was a surprising message, painted 120 years ago. What is says is unknown to me.

Could anyone tell me what the reverse of our platter says? Before you fill my comments with things like "That's Chinese for 'Wal-mart, fake Chinese antique'" jokes, think how you might break this news to me in a more gentle way.

Although there are unscrupulous business people everywhere, I have no reason to believe this isn't real. But I suppose it's possible that it says "Thanks for your money you English-reading sucker." or maybe, "This platter has been stolen from Qwan-Lo's Fish & Chips." But I think "the curse of Mr. Miyagi will befall anyone caught with this beloved family heirloom soaked in the blood of a thousand kittens" is as logical as any.

Labels: , ,

Monday, June 04, 2007

Becel Ride For Heart 2007

In-bike view of turn 2 at the Becel Ride for Heart 2007.

I survived the Becel Ride for Heart yesterday and hopefully the $2.7 million raised will help others survive their strokes and heart attacks. I raised $130.19 (Thank you, T-Mash, for the 19 cents), which accounts for 0.005% of the total.

Big help I was.

What WAS big was the crowd of riders squeezing onto the Gardiner Expressway early Sunday morning. If it wasn't for the folks at Becel hosing us down with margarine, I don't know how all twelve thousand of us would have fit.

After a few minutes Ry, Dave and I began to sweat and the greasy margarine dripped away. It was totally wild riding through the middle of Toronto, past the Rogers Centre, with towering buildings overhead. It wasn't long before we reached an on-ramp for the DVP – the first of a few downhill sections.

We didn't really stop until we hit the big rest station at the half-way point, 25 kms. We drank free bottled water, ate free oranges, then washed our hands with more free bottled water.

Towards the end the hazy sky became thicker, blocking the sun as our trio headed back towards downtown T.O. and the CN Tower. It started to rain a bit so we poured on what juice we had left and crossed the finish line after 2 hours of riding.

When all was said and done I rode a total of 51 kms (32 miles) and, during a big downhill section, hit 56 kph (35 mph). At the finish line there was a concert, news crews and huge crowds. Everybody was giving away free food, too. We ate cottage cheese, heart-shaped cookies and bagels with a whole bunch of chemicals on them. Oh wait, that was Becel.



This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.